Chapter Ten

Was that mean? Yeah, it was. It's fair to say that feelings of inadequacy don't make anyone a nicer person. Jean gave me a fair scolding and Sebastian wouldn't talk to me.

At about three in the afternoon, I left Sebastian's house with the excuse of having to go to practice. The band wasn't actually meeting until five but I couldn't stand the proximity. So I left feeling both inadequate and cruel, and headed for home and the company of women.

Liz, being the earth mother and psychic she is, had conveniently accommodated me by filling the house with her friends. I arrived to catch the tail end of a long, drawn-out brunch, still in full swing.

"Shira! Oh fuck, you're back!" said Liz, hugging me tight as I entered the kitchen. "Sit down, have some waffles, and do tell us all about it."

Some of the women around the table I knew, and some I didn't. I found a gap at the table and squeezed into a chair between Naomi and Lydia. The two of them were grinning from ear to ear. Maybe they'd smoked some skunk before I got there - the kitchen was pretty fuggy.

Liz passed a plate down to my end and someone handed me a mug of coffee laced with something – might have been crystal meths – that tasted vaguely bitter and chemically. I shrugged and gulped it down anyway, tucking into the food front of me.

I was so busy feeding my face it took me a couple of minutes to notice that the kitchen had gone silent. When I looked up to see what the problem was, I caught all eight of them staring at me.

"Um... is something wrong?" I asked, a mouthful of waffle still in mid-chew.

Naomi grinned and prodded me with her elbow. "Well, come on. Tell us." Naomi was a live music reviewer for the Westender. It wouldn't do my up-coming gig any good to be rude to her.

At the far end of the table, Sam (she of many piercings) who used to be a roommate, stuck out a pink tongue with a silver ball embedded in the middle of it. "Liz told us. So you might as well be generous and tell us the rest, Shira."

It's hard to be angry at a person who has just fed you, but I was. "Liz, for Christ's sake. Thank you for being such a discrete confidant."

"I couldn't help it, they all asked. Well most of them, anyway," said Liz defensively. "It's your boyfriend who couldn't keep his mouth shut! Apparently you guys went to the Warehouse on Saturday night and..."

I groaned and covered my hands with my head.

Lydia put her arm around my shoulder and said, "I've been trying to get my gay friend to sleep with me for years!"

"Is it like being with a lesbian with a cock?"

"Who's the bottom?"

"Did you do them both at the same time?"

"For fuck's sake!" I screamed. "Can't anyone get a little privacy around here?"

The room went quiet again for a couple of heartbeats. Then Sam muttered, "Nope."

Suddenly, everyone was chattering wildly again, firing off questions and answering their own. Liz sat back from the table with a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee-with-whatever in the other; she was smiling that crooked smile that said, 'you know you're gonna give it up, so just do it'.

"Okay. Yes, I slept with Jean AND Sebastian. No, I didn't get fucked by both of them at the same time. It's absolutely nothing like being with a girl who has a cock – they are absolutely NOT girls in any way... they're both very definitely male." The table fell silent again. "So... now you know. Okay?" I said cheerfully.

Sam shook her sleek, black, bobbed head. "No. That's not nearly okay. I've heard that Sebastian is..."

"...hung like a horse?" I finished, testily. "Yes, he is. Ask him, he's not shy. I'm sure he'll show you."

Lydia curled her arm through mine. "But was it nice ?" She gazed at me through heavy black, trendy eyeglass frames. "Was it... you know... nice?"

"Of course it was nice!" I exploded. "Why wouldn't it be nice?"

Liz tossed the lit butt of her cigarette into the sink behind her. "But was it...good. Really mm-mm good?"

I surveyed the expectant faces around the table. These were all really nice women - some of them good friends. What was I going to say? I couldn't lie. I cleared my throat, had another gulp of coffee and grimaced.

"It's... well. It's interesting." Catching the look of outrage on their faces, I continued quickly. "It's good, but it's difficult. I mean..." I was scanning them, thinking of a way to phrase it. "Okay, how many of you gag when you give head?"

"Oh, fuck, I do," burst out Jane. "All the time. Can't help it. Actually I hate it."

"Me too."

"Me three."

"It anyone even tries to hold my head when I'm sucking them off, I just refuse!" Naomi snorted.

There was a lot of agreement around the table. The only one who wouldn't admit to any problems was Sam, which didn't surprise me. That little ball on her tongue probably got them off so fast she didn't need to deep-throat anyone.

"Well, you can imagine. Gay guys – they're fucking experts at sucking cock," I pronounced. Heads around the table nodded sagely.

"In fact, I'd say that when it comes to sex, they are way out of our league, ladies. They just do it better. They think about it more, they have more experience, and they know their way around the equipment. We rely on our cunts. We rely on our tits - well, some of us do anyway. They have technique, girls, like you wouldn't believe."

"Straight men don't," said Liz.

"No, they don't. Which is why when we sleep with them, everyone's happy. Everyone just relies on body parts and nature. And it's easier, believe me."

- - -

I left the girls to their personal gag bests and went to my room to change. The phone rang and I picked it up.

"Hi, this is Shira, Liz is busy," I said automatically.

"Well, that's perfectly fine. It's not Liz I want to talk to. It's Seb."

"Sebastian. Hello. What's up?"

There was a pause on the line and I heard a sigh. "Where are you?"

This was a patently idiotic question since he'd called my home number, which I assumed he'd gotten off Jean. He knew very well were I was. "Um... I'll try this again. What's up Sebastian?"

"I wanted to apologize. You are coming home, right?"

"Oh, please. No more apologies. I've got to go to band practice. I've got no idea when it will be over."

I could hear Jean in the background yelling something at him. "Well... we'll be at Jean's tonight, okay?"

"I thought that tonight was the chocolate buffet at the Meridian. Isn't Jean reviewing that?"

"He is, but it ends early. After that, we'll be at Jean's. So..." I heard a rustling and squeaking on the line.

"Hello? Honey... it's Jean."

"Hi."

"We're going to be at my place. We'll see you there, later, right? Good! TTFN.

"I'm not..." But of course, the line had gone dead. It wasn't an invitation. It was a summons.