Chapter Seven

You would have thought that, after all that, what followed would be something of a fuck-fest. That's definitely what I expected anyway. But no. Sebastian, being Sebastian and more of an enigma with every passing day, gave me a tour of the masks lying on the table; he explained each one in turn. It seemed that the secret to the opalescence of the paint on the masks was nail polish. In fact, I think he had the largest collection of it I've ever seen.

I learned two things about Sebastian that morning. One was that he had definite artistic aspirations. In fact, he politely asked me if he could have a go at designing a stage set for me. I said that, democracies being what they were, I'd have to ask the rest of the band.

The second thing I learned was more complicated: emotion and lust in any degree of combination, was a difficult thing for him. Now I just had to find out why.

"How come you just suddenly went all cold and fraternal?" No-one could ever accuse me of not getting straight to the point.

Sebastian looked surprised. "I'm not being cold... am I?" He thought for a moment. "Am I? Maybe I am... hmmm. I could ravish you on the carpet if you'd like, Shira-kins."

Actually, I would have liked that, but I was even more interested in the switch. "Don't avoid the issue. You just did the most amazing little flip-flop. I'm interested in why."

He gave me a weary look. "What is it with you and Jean? This overwhelming need to dissect everything... it's positively ghoulish."

"Again, I say avoidance! Address the issue please!" I let the mock-seriousness ring in my voice.

Sebastian grabbed me by the waist, hoisting me up until we were eye to eye and my feet were dangling some distance from the floor. This size difference thing just wasn't going to faze me; I was determined to have my answer. I stared him down.

"Miss Shira, didn't your mother ever teach you not to tease lions in their dens?"

I didn't twitch. "No." I said flatly.

He didn't let me go. Instead, he just carried me effortlessly over to a sofa that sat beneath a window and fell onto it, using me for a soft landing. It knocked the wind out of me.

"Ow! You asshole, that hurt!"

"I think I gave you more than adequate warning that you were making me uncomfortable. Now, I have no remorse." He grinned down at me.

"Could you at least shift a little, I can hardly breathe."

He eased some of his weight off me – not very much. "For someone who is seemingly such a good observer of human nature, you don't see very much, do you Shira?"

"Sorry? Now you're confusing me."

"You think it's Jean who doesn't like girls – because he doesn't fuck them. Jean loves women; he loves you. He was the one who suggested this whole arrangement, you know. Did he tell you that?"

"No," I squeaked. I was still having trouble breathing with all that weight on top of me. "But I kind of guessed it."

"Now I, conversely... I don't much like women, generally speaking." He just lay there on top of me letting it sink in. "I fuck them. I actually love fucking them. But I don't really feel much of an affinity for them."

I couldn't blame him for being honest - it was very honest – but it did make me yearn to knee him hard in the groin and get the fuck out of his house. I would have probably done it had I been able to move my legs.

"Then why did you agree to the arrangement at all?" I spat.

"Because I'm very fond of Jean and I wanted to give him what he desired. Also, because you are attractive. Fuckable, I believe was the word I used in the bathtub -I wasn't lying, you know. But more than anything, you didn't get up my nose like a lot of women do. You aren't clingy; you don't smother. You're easily tolerable. I actually really admired your leaving in the morning the way you did. It made me think quite differently about you."

It's important to note that, during this short monologue, Sebastian was developing something of a hard-on again. It was digging quite painfully into my thigh. Somehow, I just couldn't take it as a compliment. I was altogether at a loss for words, so I just kept my mouth shut. Anyway, it turned out that Sebastian wasn't nearly finished.

"So imagine my surprise, Shira, when I find that, upon getting to know you a little better, I rather like you. In fact, I like you a lot. I have definite feelings of affection for you. I'm not going to use 'love' because that would be going a little far, but as I said before, I do like you very much. Put yourself in my position."

"I wish I could, but you have about 50 pounds on me, Sebastian."

He ignored the joke completely, opting for holding my head in place with both hands, his thumbs tucked firmly under my jaw, and continued his diatribe. "My position is that, after having exposed my feelings to you, you don't reciprocate them it seems. And, I'll be honest, that hurt."

"What?" I demanded, totally confused. "What the fuck are you talking about? When did you expose your feelings to me? When?"

"While you were sitting on the table over there. When I told you I liked you... you just ignored it. You gave me absolutely no comfort at all."

Stunned was just too mild a word. I was utterly shocked. "You call that exposing your feelings? I though you were making a little Sebastian-like, off-handed ...well, I don't even know what to call it. Anyway, you can't expect someone to gush all over you right after you've been playing serious head games with them!"

Actually, now I was angry. I got my elbows underneath me and pushed myself up a little, till our noses were practically rubbing. "I'm not going to go all gooey on you in a situation like that! What do you take me for – emotionally suicidal?"

He looked bitten; he actually backed off a little. "Why do you think I'd hurt you, Shira?"

"Gee, I don't know... perhaps because I knew instinctively that you don't like women? That you can be mean? That you play head games with people for amusement?" I replied with roiling sarcasm. "Fuck, you're weird! You can't do shit like that and wonder why people are scared of you, Sebastian!" I glared at him, out of breath and trying to catch some.

"So are you," Sebastian said, his voice quite small. "That's why I like you."

"Well..." I got stuck for a moment; I was just so fucking angry. Also, a herd of butterflies were taking flying leaps at walls of my stomach.

"Well..." I tried again. It was very awkward.

"Well what?" he demanded.

"Fuck you Sebastian! I like you too! Okay? I'm not the one who fucks people they don't like!" I shouted in his face. I moved my elbows and let my head fall back onto the seat of the sofa. "Now, do you think we could just stop being so fucking dysfunctional? It's so...suburban."

He attacked my mouth. It wasn't a kiss - that didn't really describe it. He began to eat me alive, sucking at my lips until they hurt, and switching to my tongue. Then he settled down to a slow, sensual grind that involved sliding his tongue in and out of my mouth as if he were fucking it. Meanwhile he was trying to pull his shirt off without breaking contact with my face and pushing the sweater I was wearing up around my neck. Having achieved the right amount of skin contact, he moaned and broke the kiss.

"Shira, you scared me," he panted. "You really did!"

"You scared me too," I whined.

All the adrenalin was ebbing away, leaving me in a state of extreme arousal. I did spare a thought for the fact that I was committing an act of extreme betrayal to my sex by harbouring feelings of affection for a self-confessed misogynist. I did this while being carried shirtless, up the stairs, kissing all the way. It's not often I'm glad I was born so tiny, but just then it seemed very convenient to me.

Jean was emerging from Sebastian's bathroom, all pink and adorably moist from his bath. "What's up, guys?"

"Shira and I have just had a meeting of the minds and now I'm going to tease her until she begs for mercy," said Sebastian, tossing me down onto the bed and crawling on top of me, "Then, I'm going to fuck her senseless."

Jean gave a very Jean-like giggle. "Is this a number one, or can I watch?"

Sebastian looked at me questioningly.

"I'm fine either way, it's up to you," I said.

"I'll be quiet as a mouse..." interjected Jean.

"Okay, but no interfering," said Sebastian. "Agreed?"

Jean made a little 'zipping up my mouth' sign and settled himself on the pile of coats on the couch, beaming like a lunatic.